"'Ello, Love . . ." (NC-17) (COMPLETE)

[DeeDee777]

*hugs* Awww! Hey I know what it's like waiting for your first reader on a forum and that feeling when you get it is amazing! I really hope you do get more readers because I want to hear more of your stories!

I'll let you know how the convention was! I'm from the chicagoland area so I couldn't not go! It took some shuffling, and urging from my friends, to make it to this convention! I'm actually traveling with a group of friends from a twilight message board and they are coming from all over the country (I have the shortest distance to travel) for this!

I'm sorry about your father and I love how you were able to draw from your own past and personal relationships to put into the story. When you are able to do that the story becomes so much more personal and seem easier to write. I'm doing that with one of the stories that I have on here and I can't stop dragging up my past and throwing it in there!

Well, I don't have any other Rob stories . . . yet. I think my next project I want to tackle is going to be my own vision of what happened in the "missing love scenes" in Breaking Dawn. Aside from that, I guess I'll have to wait for my "Rob smut muse" to kick into gear and give me some other ideas for Rob fanfics.

Where in the Chicago area do you live? My brother and sister in law live in Aurora, and my sister in law's family lives in Naperville.

I agree . . . I really felt like the fact that I made "myself" the female lead character in this story really made the story more personal for me . . . sort of like my own little "love letter to Rob." And, when I'd initially written this story as "Hello, My Love" . . . a Hayden Christensen fanfiction that I'd initially written for DesiringHayden.net about four years ago . . . I was inspired to write the story after reading someone else's fanfiction on that forum. After reading this other woman's fanfic, I came up with the idea to write a semi-autobiographical story, incorporating my personal experience with living with hydrocephalus and my experience with watching my father die from brain cancer. It just sort of seemed natural for me to combine those two elements, to not only add drama to the story but also to help me work through the feelings of grief and loss over my father's death that I was still dealing with at that point . . . and it did end up being really "easy" actually. The story practically wrote itself. Initially, I'd ended the story with the chapter at the Oscars . . . but then I'd added the Epilogue later, because that last chapter just didn't seem like a very satisfying ending to the story . . . and I actually literally "dreamed up" the Epilogue . . . The Epilogue actually was a dream I'd had one night, when (I'm assuming) I was subconsciously thinking about that story and wishing I could figure out a better way to end it. I had that dream, I woke up, and immediately wrote out the Epilogue. Then, when I got the idea to update the story and turn it into a Rob fanfic, it was even easier, because about 90% of the story was really already "written" . . . I just had to change a lot of little details throughout the story, and I ended up actually adding in a few details in the love scenes here and there, taking some of my favorite parts of love scenes from another Hayden fanfic I'd written and incorporating them in there.

[renske4u2]

Wow this was such a bittersweet story. It's beautifully written. Once I started reading I just couldn't stop.

[DeeDee777]

Wow this was such a bittersweet story. It's beautifully written. Once I started reading I just couldn't stop.

THANK YOU! *hugs*

[DeeDee777]

Well, I don't have any other Rob stories . . . yet.

^Ok . . . I can't say this anymore . . . just posted not one but two new Rob fics over in the Romance/Relationships section, both NC-17 stories. I guess my "Rob Smut Muse" just gave me a swift kick in the ass today!

[DeeDee777]

*A/N: I've added pictures for most of the "characters" in this story. Check out the first post on Pg. 1.

[DeeDee777]

I just had to make some changes to this story, after finding out that Rob's dog, Patty, died last December. I had never known that Patty was gone, and I included her in this story, so I had to change a few of the details in any chapters where Patty is mentioned.

[Miraclez20]

awww this was beautiful & sad loved reading it

[DeeDee777]

awww this was beautiful & sad loved reading it

Thank you for commenting! Love hearing from new readers. It's been three months since anyone at all has commented on this story, so I'm glad you liked it. I was beginning to wonder if anyone was actually reading this story at all anymore.

[chickadee]

Aww, Deb. May I call you Deb? One of my best friends is named Debbie and it just feels completely natural to call you Deb, instead of Dee.

Wow. I loved it. You didn't just have me crying at the end, you had me crying at multiple other points through the story. There are so many things I wanted to say the whole way through, but thought I'd wait for the end, and now I've forgotten half of them.

OK. I loved your description of their first time. It was so beautifully written. I loved the use of "Friends" at the reception. That song has special memories for me. Loved the wedding ceremony. I was surprised that you actually wrote the whole thing out, but as I was reading it, those familiar words washed over me, soothing me. Might be a bit much for someone not of a church background, I don't know, but I enjoyed it.
You actually know the guys from Stryper? Well, how about that!
I loved the fact that Rob was brave and strong in this story and stuck by you throughout.
Loved their Christmas gifts to each other, I would never have come up with those ideas.

What else?.... Gosh, there was just so much. I actually got a little overwhelmed looking at all the pictures on the first page, hoping I wasn't going to have to remember who everybody was.
Oh, yeah, the Claddagh rings. He made you guys engaged.... Awww.
Rob's reaction to your scars, and your reaction to his reaction. So realistic.
I'm glad we didn't have to deal with a lot of paparazzi crap in this story. Maybe Rob might not have managed to get away with being so private for so long in real life, but it was nice to just focus on the other elements of the story.
And the fact that you had the guts to let yourself die in the story. Yeah. Kudos.

You mentioned that you were concerned people weren't reading this. I think you're probably right. I don't know that they are. Simply because it's an already completed story and people tend to be all over new stories. And because there is a lot of stuff here on this site and it takes a long time to work through it, particularly if, like me, you're fairly new. There is heaps and heaps on here that I haven't gotten anywhere near yet. And stuff that I'm avoiding. Like Clairey's story Somersault. It's already been going for so many pages that I know it will take me ages to catch up, so at the moment I'm putting off getting started while I catch up with some of the shorter stuff.

Don't lose heart, girl. It's a great story.

[DeeDee777]

WOW! *HUGS* Thank you soooo much for everything you said! First of all, you can absolutely call me Deb . . . my three best friends all call me Deb, and so do the guys in Stryper, because they've all known me for so long, and, of course, my brother calls me Deb, too. I've really only picked up the nicknames "DeeDee" and "Dee" just since my mom has been remarried, because of the fact that my mom now has a sister in law named Debbie, too . . . so now Ken's side of the family usually calls me "DeeDee" just to end the confusion anytime we're all together. And since I've been online here, a lot of people (including my fellow Smutkateers) all call me Dee . . . probably just because I'm using the screen name "DeeDee777" on here. So, yeah, I have lots of different nicknames now, and I answer to all of them. Thanks for what you said about "their first time." I was actually pretty nervous writing that out, wondering if it would actually seem believable or if it would just be "too much" . . . I was just afraid that it would seem too sappy or too overly-romantic and not realistic enough. Because I am the main female character in this story, I really tried to write out exactly what I thought that I would be thinking and feeling in that moment, and the details just sort of flowed from there. And for Rob's reaction to seeing my scars for the first time . . . basically, that was just me writing down what I would hope that any guy would actually say to me someday, seeing my scars for the first time, because I really am just as self-conscious about my scars in real life as I seemed in this story. And this story initially began as my own personal form of "literary therapy," to deal with my lingering feelings of grief and loss over my father's death from brain cancer. So a lot of the details of everything that Rob and I go through during that part of the story really came from my own real life experiences of watching everything that my father went through. My church background has been a very important part of my life, especially since my father's illness and death, so that's why it was also such an important part of this story. And I've remained close to "Father Frank" and his family and their closest friends from All Saints, even since I moved out of Florida in 2003, so that's why I felt that they would be an essential part of this story. I was also afraid that someone who didn't have the kind of church background that I do would feel that the "religious" part of the story was a bit much, but I've actually had one of my best friends(Heidi), who's Jewish, read this story and she loved it. Yes, I do know the guys from Stryper, and their families . . . as I said in the story, I have actually known them since 1989. Started out as a "fan/pen pal," writing them fan letters through their fan club, and that's how I got to know Michael and Robert's mom, Janice, so well . . . because she was president and founder of the Stryper fan club, and I was in touch with her a lot through the fan club. Then, over the years, I also got to know each of the band members as well as all the wives and families of each of the band members, too . . . and I've kept in touch with all of them via letters, e-mails, phone calls, chat rooms, and, now, via sites like Facebook and MySpace, pretty much constantly over the past 20-plus years. When Michael's first wife, Kyle, died last March, I honestly felt like I'd lost a "sister" . . . and it was especially tough on me because I knew she'd had ovarian cancer and she'd had it for two years, and I'd known about every treatment and every surgery they'd tried over those two years. I also knew, the day that I got Michael's e-mail that the latest round of chemo they were trying wasn't working and that they were simply trying to "manage her pain" . . . I knew then that the end was coming, because it was like deja vu and I was reliving my father's last 48 hours all over again. So, really, this story has become like my way of not only dealing with my father's death from brain cancer, but also dealing with losing Kyle to ovarian cancer as well. And I included my older sister in the end of this story as well, because I really did have an older sister, who would have been two years older than I am now if she'd survived . . . but she died shortly after her birth in 1967. She died from complications from the same condition that I was born with two years later; Basically, the technology just wasn't there to save her when she was born that was there to save me two years later. And, like you, I didn't want to deal with "a lot of paparazzi crap in this story," either . . . I felt like my "characters" were going through enough, so I really didn't want to have the paparazzi making a bad situation worse. So that's why I had Rob take care of the problem when he did in the story, to just completely take the paparazzi out of the equation so that I could just focus the story on myself and Rob, our families and friends, and everything that we were going through together at that point in the story.

Thanks also for what you had to say about my feelings that people weren't reading my story. That makes a lot of sense, and makes me feel a lot better about it. Now I just won't worry so much if I don't see people posting anything about my story here. I'd never really thought about it that way, but it definitely makes sense.