In My Mother's Arms (Fresh Breath)(Incomplete)[AU-Human]

[Hfrankz]

Okay, so I'm taking a holiday!!! I'll be gone for 10 days so I thought I'd give you guys an update...




Chapter 11: It’s Okay To Be Afraid of Death
EPOV

A week after Alice had left, I was getting pretty used to Bella taking her place. Alice was right: it was just like having her here, but a different person. I had had the dream every single night since Alice left and it was starting to show. Bella kept asking if I was sick or what she should do. I really only needed to sleep. My eyes looked hollowed out and dark circles rimmed the bottoms, making me look like a vampire in a scary movie. I was pale from exhaustion and falling asleep in class.

After my classical music class, I went to the campus cafeteria and got a salad. I was eating by myself in the café when Jasper sat down across from me. I looked up, surprised to see him. “Hey, Jasper. What’s up?”

He smiled back. “Not much, Edward. I just came from an American Civil War lecture. You?”

“Classical music,” I replied. “Have you talked to Alice recently?”

Jasper’s face lit up. “Oh, man! Yeah! I’m so proud of her. She seems to be having so much fun. She’s a lucky girl. When did you talk to her last? Did she tell you about that one professor who is trying to get her that internship?”

I shook my head at him. “Um, actually, I haven’t talked to her since she called to let me know she had arrived.”

Jasper furrowed his brow. “Why haven’t you called her? I know she wants to talk to you.”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I’ve been busy." I hesitated, thinking about what he had said. "If she wanted to talk to me so bad, why didn’t she just call me then?”

He shot me a glare. “Edward, she doesn’t want you to feel like she’s suffocating you. She said she understands how you were fed up with her controlling your life. I guess she wants you to decide when you’re ready and call her. And what have you been so busy doing? Hanging out with Bella?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes at him. “No, with school.”

Jasper laughed at me. “Whatever, man. I think you should call her. I know she wants to talk to you. Anyway, I gotta run.”

“See ya, Jasper.”



When I got back to the apartment, Bella was there, sitting on the couch and looking over a book.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked as I made my way onto the couch beside her.

She looked up at me and gave me a welcoming smile. “Nothing really. Just looking over some stuff for class.”

“Cool,” I said at a loss for anything to say.

Bella let out a laugh. “No, not really. Just schoolwork. How was your class today?”

I sighed and leaned back into the couch. “Boring, pointless, and a waste of my time.”

She sat up and looked me in the eye. “What class did you have today?”

“Classical music,” I answered her, uninterested.

“Oh, so you think you know everything and there’s nothing left for you to learn?” she guessed, challenging me.

Little did she know, she was far off. I had plenty to learn, but why waste my entire life in school?

As an answer I shook my head at her.

“What then?” she questioned curiously.

Again, I shook my head, not wanting to load all of my crap onto her shoulders.

“No, tell me.” She leaned back into the couch, ready to listen.

I sighed and turned to look at her. “You really don’t want to hear my bullshit rant.”

“Enlighten me,” was all she said, with a smirk on her face, might I add.

I took a deep breath and let it out before looking her dead in the eye. “I’m going to die soon.”

I left her with that and noticed her face go pale, before her cheeks turned a bright shade of fuchsia. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before looking in another direction.

“I’m going to die soon, and I find it a complete waste of time to spend my entire life in school,” I offered, gathering her attention again.

“You’re not going to-”

“Yes I am,” I cut her off. “Do you know how long people with my disease live?” She didn’t answer. “Not long. Most die when they are kids. It’s not very common for adults to live with CF. So, don’t even tell me I’m not going to die, because I know I will. The question is when. And I pray to God, if there even is one, that I don’t die while I’m in school. I hope and pray I will be able to do something, go somewhere, travel the globe- I honestly don’t give a fuck- but I want to do something other than go to school before I die.” By the end, my voice had risen. I was practically yelling at Bella, and I knew she was terrified. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open in a gasp. She had unshed tears shining in her eyes.

I leaned back into the couch, gasping for air. Outbursts did not always end well in my situation. I closed my eyes and practiced some breathing exercises.

A few minutes of silence went by when I felt a tiny hand on my leg. I opened my eyes and tilted my head to look at Bella, who had one lone tear rolling down her flushed cheek.

“Listen,” her voice was just barely above a whisper, “I know it’s not easy to be living with a disease. It can’t be. But, just know that I’m here for you. If you ever want to talk. Or if you want to do something. We could go skydiving or climb Mt. Everest, or whatever you want to do. I’ll do it with you… if you want.”

I slowly sat upright and reached my shaking hand out to her cheek, gently removing the tear with my thumb. Her eyes closed at the contact, and when she opened them, I could see the determination.

After a few comfortably silent minutes of staring at each other, she opened her mouth. “It’s okay to be afraid of death,” she whispered.

When the tears fell from my eyes, I felt her wrap her arms around me. She pulled me into a hug and I hugged her back. As much as I hated to feel vulnerable, it felt good to be comforted for once.

I pressed my forehead into her shoulder. “Sometimes I’m not afraid of death,” I admitted. “Sometimes I wish I were dead,” my voice was a whisper, “Then it would all be over. I wouldn’t be sick anymore, I wouldn’t be a burden to my family anymore, and I’d be with my parents again.” By now, the tears were falling freely, leaving wet trails down my face.

Bella never answered. She held me for a moment and then I pulled back. I looked at her face. She was crying, too, and looked back into my eyes with a pained expression. Without thinking, I leaned in. When my lips met hers, she let out a soft sigh. She didn’t refuse my lips. She gave back what I longed for, what I needed. She pulled my bottom lip between her own, sucking on the skin and giving me chills. When I needed more, I skimmed her upper lip with the tip of my tongue, begging for entrance. She opened her mouth with a sigh. I breathed in her air and let my tongue enter into her mouth. I met hers, feeling the warm sensation. Bella’s hand came up to my face, at first trailing along my jaw, but then she reached up further to wipe away the tears from my cheeks. She pulled back for air and I opened my eyes. When she opened hers, she looked into mine. Her eyes were frantic. The pained look was slowly being clouded with something else.

Lust?

She looked down at her hands. When she finally looked back up to me, her eyes were filled with tears again.

I reached my hand out to wipe her tear-soaked cheeks with the tips of my fingers.

One of her hands came back up to my face, her thumb lightly stroking the area below my right eye. “Why haven’t you been sleeping?” she asked, her voice hoarse from the tears.

I looked down, avoiding her gaze.

She brought her other hand up, holding either side of my face, begging for me to look at her. I did, and was met with her now concerned eyes.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

I took in a deep breath and sighed. “I just- It’s nothing really. There’s this dream…”

“Is it a nightmare?” she questioned when I didn’t continue.

I shook my head. “It’s a memory. Of…” I sighed again, shaking my head, “Of the last time I saw my mother.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I could barely hear her voice.

I didn’t answer. Bella leaned in and hugged me again. I looked up toward the ceiling in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.

Letting out a sigh, I started the story. “I was in the hospital, but my mom had to work her second job that night…”



Bella listened to the story, not interrupting once. “… And when Carlisle came back into the room later on that night, he was crying. I didn’t know what was wrong. But then, he told Esme something and she burst into tears. When he woke Alice up, I knew it must be bad, but I never expected the news that he gave us. It just didn’t seem fair. We had already lost our dad, and I never thought we would lose our mom. And the worst part is it was all my fault.”

At that, Bella stiffened in my arms. She pulled away, looking at me with new tears on her face. “How could it possibly be your fault, Edward?”

I sighed. “Because, if I hadn’t been diagnosed, she would have never had to take up that second job to pay for medical expenses.”

“Edward, that is so wrong. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to be diagnosed. The world isn’t fair. These things happen, and I know you’ve been dealt a really shitty card, but you can’t blame yourself.”

I looked away, fixating my gaze on the wall. “I know, but sometimes it’s really hard to believe that.”

Bella looked at me with pained eyes now. “Life isn’t meant to be easy. That’s why we have friends: to help us through the bad times.” She hesitated. “Edward, I’ll always be here for you.”


And I realized now. It wasn’t lust I saw before… it was love.



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Hope you all have a good weekend! Leave me some love, yeah?

[Summerdays]

Wow really good. I wish we would have continued to write

[DeeDee777]

AWWWW!!!!! LOVE the update! Have fun on your vacation!

[cookiemonster]

sweet chapter, hope you'll have a nice vacation, don't leave us waiting too long, though

[Hfrankz]

Update anyone?



Chapter 12: If You Want It to Be
EPOV

After I got home from classes, I went to the fridge for a snack. I saw Bella had made some fruit salad before she left for her classes this morning, and took out the Tupperware to put some in a bowl. I took the salad into my room and sat down at my keyboard. I switched it on and then stuffed a piece of watermelon into my mouth. I played with the keys in between bites. After a few minutes, I heard the front door open.

I listened as Bella walked into her room and put something away into a drawer and then set her keys on her bedside table. She stopped then and I didn’t hear any movement. For some reason, I stayed still, waiting to hear something from her room. After a few minutes of waiting, I decided to get up and go say hi. But just then, I heard her cell phone ring. She answered it excitedly, happy to hear from whomever was calling.

“Hey, Jake! Oh my god, I haven’t heard from you in forever!” I heard her laugh at something he said. This light and cheerful tone she used with the guy she was talking to made me upset. I didn’t know why, but I wanted her to end that phone call. “Jake, we have to meet up sometime. When are you going to be back in La Push?” She hesitated, waiting for an answer. I heard my phone ringing, and when I saw it was Carlisle, I ignored it. I was too intrigued by Bella’s conversation. “That’s, like, perfect timing! I can totally come home this weekend and then stop by La Push.” Again, silence. “No, no, I’m not busy at all.” What? Yes, she was busy. She was busy being with me. Frustrated with this one-sided conversation I was hearing, I leaned my elbow on the keys, placing my face on my palm. However, I forgot the keyboard was still on, causing it to make the sound of a dying whale. “Um, Jake, I’ll call you later.”

I heard her phone snap shut and then her footsteps coming closer. I looked up when she knocked on the doorframe, stepping into my room. “Hey, I didn’t know you were home yet. Is everything okay? What was that noise?” She seemed flustered, asking her questions all together and not giving me any time to answer.

I looked down at the keyboard, shaking my head. “Nothing. Just messed up on a note.”

She looked confused. “I didn’t hear any playing.”

“Maybe you were too busy making plans with Jake to notice I was playing.” Okay so I wasn’t playing, more like eves dropping, but I couldn’t hold in my jealousy.

Her eyebrows knit together. “Why did you say it like that?” I raised my eyebrows, letting her know I had no clue what she was talking about. “Why did you say it with an attitude- that I had plans this weekend?”

“Don’t you think you are- otherwise- busy? You know, making sure I’m still alive?” I watched her confused expression fade to a questioning one.

“Um, did Dr. Cullen ever get a hold of you?” I fought not to roll my eyes at the fact she called him ‘Dr. Cullen’.

“No.” Well, he tried.

She nodded her head in understanding. “Well, he tried calling you, but you must have still been in class because he called me asking if I was with you. He said Alice was going to be going home this weekend and wanted you to go, too. Thus, making me free to make other plans.”

I turned my phone on to see that I had, not only the one I just ignored, but also three missed calls and a voice mail. “Oh,” was all I let out in response. She stared at me for a minute, her eyes narrowed.

“Look, I didn’t mean to… use a tone or anything. I didn’t know about this weekend.” She seemed to relax more after my apology. “Hey, you’re going home this weekend, too?” She nodded. “Maybe we could, I don’t know, like… carpool, or something? Go together, save on gas. Eco-friendly.”

It took a couple seconds, but I finally saw a smile flash across her face. “Yeah,” she nodded. “That’d be great.”


Before bed, Bella came into my room to do chest percussions. She was working on my left side when my chest tightened up and I started coughing harder. It was the heavy, deep coughing that usually hurt the back of my throat and I was praying this cough fit wouldn’t last long. Bella handed me a new tissue, and gasped when she saw the dirtied one.

“Um, Edward. There’s blood again,” she said in a panicked voice. There wasn’t supposed to be blood. That was weeks ago when it was supposed to stop.

The cough fit wasn’t stopping and I had already gone through three tissues, each revealing more and more blood. Bella’s hand hovered over me, not knowing how to help. She slid one hand into my hair, pushing it back out of my face. As the coughing grew deeper and harder, my body kept curling into itself more each time.

“Um, Edward? Should I call Dr. Cullen?” she asked frantically. I nodded, the only answer I was capable of at this moment. She reached over on my bedside table to grab my phone and quickly skimmed through the contacts for his number before hitting send and bringing the cell to her ear. As she waited, her foot tapped impatiently on the floor. “Dr. Cullen!” she answered back into the phone hastily. “No, actually, um, there is a lot of blood in Edward’s… mucus stuff. He’s having a cough fit.” Bella waited for a reply. “No, he hasn’t stopped yet… um, about three minutes… Yeah, his face is turning red. I don’t know what to do.” Her voice had become high-pitched. She was on the verge of breaking down into tears because she felt so helpless. If I could reassure her that this has happened before and that I would be okay, I would. But I physically couldn’t right now. I just had to try to keep breathing steady and hope this ended soon. Bella listened to Carlisle for a moment and then looked at me. I could just barely see her worried featured through my squinted, watery eyes. “Edward, turn onto your back… and put your hand behind your head… to open up your chest.” The coughing was rocking my body so hard, I fought to control my movements. Bella had come by my side, pushing on my shoulder to help me onto my back. She took a hold of the tissue and held it to my mouth while I placed my hands behind my head. I immediately felt like I could take a larger, more full breath of air, but that didn’t stop the coughing. “Okay… yeah, sure hold on.” Bella set my phone down and reached for the glass of water on my bedside table. “Dr. Cullen said to try and drink water. And try to take two puffs from your inhaler.” I sat up and reached out to grab the glass of water Bella was handing me. I tried to steady my breathing so I could take a sip. After a few failed attempts, I got some water down, soothing my raw throat. I stilled my movements, trying to control the coughing and when it was slowing down enough, I took two puffs from my inhaler, feeling the mist in my lungs.

After a few more minutes of waiting, the coughing subsided, leaving me breathless and exhausted. I drank the rest of the water and reached for a stick of Juicy Fruit. As soon as my mouth tasted better, I decided to try and relax. Bella had picked up my cell again, informing Carlisle I was doing better now. She listened to some instruction before hanging up.

I rested my arms on my knees and hunched over, relieved to be able to take in some smooth, deep breaths. Bella came to sit at my side and extended her hand to soothingly rub my back. I let out a sigh at the comfort and let my body relax completely and rid myself of stiff muscles and tension. Two minutes of silence later, Bella spoke up, telling me Carlisle’s instructions. “He said to take a double dosage of medication before you go to bed and once you wake up. And he’s calling your doctor to get you a check-up over the weekend.” I just nodded my head, too tired for words. I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then headed back to my room to find Bella still sitting on my bed.

I walked around her and got into bed, sliding my body under the sheets. After realizing what I planned to do, she stood up. “Um, I’m going to get you some more water,” she said, grabbing the empty glass on my bedside table. I mumbled a ‘thanks’ as she left the room. When she returned with the water, she set it on the table and looked down at me. “I brought your medicine, too,” she stated, handing it to me. I took out four pills, instead of the usual two, and swallowed them down with the help of the water. After, I settled back into the bed. Bella stood there awkwardly as I got comfortable, turning onto my side and removing the gum from my mouth, wrapping it in a tissue, and throwing it into the trash. When I closed my eyes, I felt her move towards me instead of leaving. My eyes opened when I felt the warmth of her small hand in my hair, pushing it back. She leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek.

It wasn’t enough.

I didn’t want a protective, maternal kiss from her. I wanted a real kiss. So I reached my hand to place it at the back of her neck, stopping her from pulling back. My head lifted off the pillows as our lips met. She immediately granted me entrance and her tongue met mine with just as much force as I used. She leaned into the kiss, moaning as I sucked on her bottom lip. I moved my other hand to her lower back as both of her hands threaded into my hair. I pulled her to me, forcing her onto the bed. She straddled my legs and moved her hands to my face. When she pulled away for air, I wasted no time and moved my lips to her neck. When she moaned my name, I almost lost it then and there. But, she stopped moaning my name, and started to just say it.

“Edward… Edward, stop,” she panted, breathless. She pushed at my chest, attempting to get some space between us. I looked at her questioningly, wondering why she stopped. “Hey, you’re really tired. And it’s been a long night… like a really long night. You should probably get right to sleep.”

I sighed and eventually nodded in agreement. She got up off of me and slid off the bed. Before she could get too far, I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She turned around and raised her eyebrows in question. “Um,” I began nervously, “I know we already spend a lot of time together and all, but, I was wondering, maybe, if… I don’t know, maybe, tomorrow you wanted to get dinner together or something?” Way to go idiot. It only took you five minutes to get a simple question out.

“Like a date?” she asked, inclining her head.

I looked down and smiled. “Only if you want it to be.”

She didn’t answer at first, and the silence was killing me. I already felt like a fool, and I prayed to God she didn’t turn me down. I wouldn’t be able to live with her if she did that… it’d be way too awkward. I looked up after a few seconds of silence to find her smiling back at me. “Yeah, that’d be great.” I smiled at her.

She started to leave my room. “Good night,” I called after her.

She turned around and I saw that sweet smile playing at her lips. “Good night, Edward. Sweet dreams.” She turned around again and left, closing my door behind her and leaving me in darkness.
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please review! I really appreciate them =]

[Summerdays]

Oh I didn't even notice you updated

[DeeDee777]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this update!!!!

[Summerdays]

Awww first date coming right up

[cookiemonster]

awww shit, I would like completely freak if he just didn't stop coughing...
so great that they've got a date and jealous edward was so sweet! more soon, please?

[deadluvr]

I liked it...great update.I am glad that they are getting on well and that she is giving him a chance.